The Tax Man by Bruce Jay Friedman

 The Tax Man by Bruce Jay Friedman

This short story is extremely funny, it deals with moeurs, sexual inclinations and exploration, the absurd and…the tax man.

Dealing with taxes and the individuals involved in this game can be frustrating, excruciating and ridiculous.

Especially in countries where one hates to see his taxes- way too big always- being wasted on various white elephants or corrupt public servants or politicians- on my blogs I have videos with the police sleeping on their job, in cars that they use as dormitories, with engines running, using the fuel to allow them to sleep in cool or warm temperatures, according to the season.

Then of course we have the outrageous case of the leader of the free world, an orange clown alas, who refuses to let the public see his taxes, maybe because he is worth less than he brags, or, more heinously, on account of possible entanglements with the Russians or other devious financial schemes.

Ullman is the hero of this story and he has a lavish apartment that he wants the IRS to accept as a “working office”.

His accountant is skeptical about this idea, but he arranges a meeting with the Tax Man, so that the situation could be assessed.

The truth is that the protagonist does little work in a place that has a bedroom decorated with mirrors on all walls…including the ceiling.

Before the official was expected, the shrewd owner of the apartment, who works in the theater, arranges a few decoys around the rooms.

The agent in question is not fooled by papers scattered around the place, the hidden drinks and the pretences of Ullman.

The latter insists that he likes to work for a while and then take naps through the day, six of them and he needs the eccentric bedroom.

The calendar reveals meetings, some of which are legitimate and can be confirmed, while others are just placed in the book.

After some questions and pertinent observations from the Tax Man, the climax is approaching with extraordinary events.

First of all, Gowran would like to call his new girl and the owner of the extraordinary apartment invites his visitor to get the girl here.

When Ingrid arrives, Ullman is astonished and forced to reevaluate the Tax Man, whom he considered to be a lowly public servant.

The outlandish girl says that nothing bothers her, confirming the proud Gowran who stated that she will do anything…

-          “Slowly, lazily, the girl stood on her hands, using Ullman’s expensive bookshelves to balance herself. Her skirt poured over her head, Ullman dazzled by the erotically chunky spectacle. “It means nothing to me,” said Ingrid”

After this exceptional act, which is funny and at the same time sounds surreal, there is more wild behavior.

-          Actually, this is just the beginning!!

Without attributing philosophical insight or thinking that this narrative explores the meaning of life, I think there is a deeper level.

Yes, it sounds preposterous to have a Tax Man in one’s flat, bringing in a girlfriend that pulls her skirt over her head – and there is much more to come- by sitting on her…hands.

But what about the aforementioned orange man, who lives in the White House, and in the manner of a Soviet leader, before Gorbatchev who has brought in perestroika and glasnost, refuses the minimum transparency on the issue of his taxes and is altogether a comedian without a talent, a joker in the worst possible taste.

And if we think the girl in the story is over the top, what about the “First Lady”, who seems to be as dumb as a bell- her latest apparition was in a school, where she asks a child what A.C., marked on his notebook, stands for.

And the boy or girl says that it is her name, to which the “model from a mail order catalogue” says…”oh, I know, I figured it out…I just wanted to see if you know” the commentary from Jimmy Kimmel is right on the spot- you wanted to see if the child knows his or her name?? Yeah, right!!

In The Tax Man, the girl is taking a breast out to the dry cleaner that comes at the door to get the clothes…

And then they all have sex, for a while within some designated rules, but after a first stage, there are no more rules…