Positive Psychology by Kate Hefferson and Ilona Boniwell Stupendous

 Positive Psychology by Kate Hefferson and Ilona Boniwell

Stupendous

This is a fabulous, stunning book that contains almost all you need to know about positive psychology and this is a subject that I have read, talked and even tried to do something about in the past few years.

Albeit, the funny part is that a full circle is about to be closed, as I read about the “negative” psychology in another great book

-          The Upside of your Dark Side by Biswas Diener, among others

So while I enthuse over positive psychology, I am surprised to find about the “dark triad” constituted by narcissism, machiavelism and psychopathy and how important to have some small doses of each of these components.

Then there is the Teddy Roosevelt effect- a wonderful president given to some “dark” manifestations like swimming naked in the Potomac, near the White House, losing his retinue in the Yellowstone- that he gave the status of National Park.

To come back to the Positive Psychology, I would only add that this science is changing my life even now, as we speak, for studies show that

1.       Our minds keep changing all the way to the moment of death and the brain is a very plastic, malleable organ

2.       Even small, extremely short subliminal messages determine our behavior, so when I decide that I will read and discuss positive psychology almost every day that means that this will affect me.

This book is phenomenal also from the perspective that it includes criticism and deals with it in a fair manner.

Then it has a staggering 20% of it allocated to references and it is surprising to find a list with hundreds of books to read, from which the authors have taken inspiration

Here are some extracts from this fabulous work by Ilona Boniwell and others

And while we are at it, anybody up for a massage? This is a good activity, not just for the body, but also in psychological terms.

There are other exercises that would help, like the happiness pie…

“The intervention technique with the most considerable amount of research is massage therapy (MT). The evidence suggests that MT has the ability to enhance both physical and psychological functioning.

Psychologically, MT interventions have reported significant reductions in depression similar to the efficiency of traditional psychotherapy

Research into the physiological effects of embracing (hugging) has offered exciting insight into the positive effects of this intimate behavior. For example, engaging in hugging behaviors, as well as kissing, with your partner can significantly reduce psychological distress and influence proteins that may promote health and wellbeing

The bonobos, a cousin of the chimpanzee, and dolphins are the only other known communities that engage in sex ‘for fun’

Wisdom and Knowledge

• Curiosity and interest • Love of learning • Judgment, critical thinking, open-mindedness • Practical intelligence, creativity, originality, ingenuity • Perspective

Courage

• Valour • Industry, perseverance • Integrity, honesty, authenticity• Zest, enthusiasm

Love

• Intimacy, reciprocal attachment • Kindness, generosity, nurturance • Social intelligence, personal intelligence, emotional intelligence

Justice

• Citizenship, duty, loyalty, teamwork • Equity, fairness • Leadership

Temperance

• Forgiveness, mercy • Modesty, humility • Prudence, caution • Self-control, self-regulation Transcendence

• Awe, wonder, appreciation of beauty and excellence • Gratitude • Hope, optimism, future-mindedness • Playfulness, humor • Spirituality, sense of purpose, faith, religiousness

What is the good life? Socrates, Aristotle and Plato believed that when people pursued a virtuous life, they would become authentically happy. Epicurus and later utilitarians preached that happiness was indeed the abundance of positive feelings and pleasures. Positive psychology has traditionally conceptualized authentic happiness as a mix of hedonic and eudaimonic wellbeing (Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi, 2000). Hedonic happiness encompasses high levels of positive affect and low levels of negative affect, in addition to high subjective life

1 This is an interesting exercise about a rapidly growing therapeutic intervention, quality of life therapy (Frisch, 2006). It is known as ‘the happiness pie’. To do this, you should get a sheet of blank paper and draw a large circle, or happiness pie, to represent your life and to what you allocate your energy to, such as family, health, exercise, goals, spiritual practices, work and play. As you reflect on these, make ‘slices’ into the pie to reflect how much energy you devote to each. Does the size of each slice represent the importance of that slice? For example, if family is very important to you and yet it represents only a small fraction of the pie, then maybe it’s time to start thinking of how to scale back other areas and increase this particular one. Finally, list five ways in which you can make time for these slices and thereby increase your wellbeing. 2 The second exercise we would like you to do is something that you may already do instinctively. This is simply putting a name and some structure to your daily routine. If you do not already do this, then you’re in for a big surprise (Seligman et al., 2005). This exercise is called ‘three good things’ and was developed to enhance one’s sense of gratitude. For the next week, before you go to bed, write down three good things that happened to you that day.

The next time you are feeling a little blue, seek out your favorite person. Research shows that simply by looking at our favorite person, there are several documented immediate physiological and psychological benefits, such as invigoration, enhanced immune system functioning and mood states. So make a date today with your favorite person and get those positive emotions flowing! - That is me, isn’t it?

Bhutan, a tiny country in Asia, has rejected the concept of gross national product (GNP) as the measurement of its country’s success, and introduced gross national happiness (GNH).

Based on evidence from multiple studies, Rath and Harter (2010) suggest five tips for enhancing ‘financial wellbeing’:

1 Be happy with what income you do have.

2 Live within these means.

3 Spend wisely and save wisely (by thinking long term as well as short term).

4 Spend on experiences and not just materials (experiences create memories that can then be savoured at a later date).

5 Spend your money on others and not just yourself…”