The Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben Shahar

 

The Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben Shahar

Extraordinary book

 

Tal Ben-Shahar is the author of this wonderful book and he has also been one of the most successful teachers at Harvard.

His lectures on positive psychology have become the most popular in the history of the institution that itself has been one of the best universities in the world

If you are interested, you can watch the courses that are available on YouTube.

I strongly recommend them and the abovementioned fact that one in five students attended these classes speaks volumes.

In the book The Pursuit of Perfect the acclaimed professor and writer explains some of the things mentioned in his lectures.

I used to think that we need to search for perfection.

Tal Ben-Shahar explains why this is wrong.

Perfectionists are unhappy since perfect does not exist.

When you are happy with nothing less than perfect you waste your life waiting for a miracle.

Satisfizers are the lucky ones satisfied- what else- with the best possible outcome

In The Pursuit of Happiness there are many examples from the life of the author, his relationships and experiences.

There are some funny situations, like the one where a student warns him:

-          You are the teacher of positive psychology…watch out, if I see you unhappy I will tell my friend who is in your class about you

It is ok to feel negative; to experience negative emotions and learn from them- learn to fail or fail to learn is one of the quotes.

In fact, at the end of one lecture, Tal Ben-Shahar makes a statement that sounds more than intriguing:

-          I wish you fail more! This is the only way you will learn more!

He gives the examples of inventors and people who have failed time and again only to come on top and experience greatness.

There is in fact a famous ratio discovered by Losada and Barbara Fredrikson that says that we need three positive events for each negative one

-          1 to 3

And as I read more, it seems that the negative side of life is necessary in order to be able to really feel the good parts.

Even in some religious texts that I am reading through, the idea that God needed to make negative, all kinds of creatures seems very strong and makes sense.

If there is just a small reproach that I would make to an otherwise excellent book, this is that there is perhaps too much from the life of the author.

But then, from a different angle, a personal touch is preferable, even if that includes information about the wife, baby, squash and other experiences.

And then, I should be a merit finder and not a fault finder in the words of Tal Ben-Shahar, who remains one of the people who have changed my perspective in the last couple of years, since I have started reading positive psychology.

I used to be rather negative and critical- to prove that, I just remembered another little fault that I find with the sensational professor: he loves Whitney Houston; I will always love you- his all time favorite, and then Celine Dion.

I can’t stand either singer, but this is minor, non essential and perhaps a reminder of how much I travelled.

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