Memoirs of A Gnostic Dwarf by David Madsen – this is included on The 1,000 Novels Everyone Must Read list, The Comedy Section - 8 out of 10

 

Memoirs of A Gnostic Dwarf by David Madsen – this is included on The 1,000 Novels Everyone Must Read list, The Comedy Section

 

8 out of 10

 

‘Memoirs of a Gnostic Dwarf” is a historical novel by David Madsen. It’s set during the transition between the 15th and 16th centuries and follows the life of Giuseppe “Peppe” Amadonelli, a dwarf from Rome who becomes a chamberlain and confidant of Pope Leo X while also being an adherent of Gnosticism. The book gives a vivid portrayal of Renaissance Italy, including the Vatican, the papacy, and various aspects of society at that time…’ this is what Artificial Intelligence will tell you, as Copilot, and the best thing on this page

 

Indeed, spoiler alert, you should keep the above and forget the rest, it is not worth your time, first, because I did not really like the novel enough to get beyond page 98, although I enjoyed the impressive start, there is clearly enough material inside to get pleasure, information, erudition, laughs, but not for yours truly

It is dashing, the first few lines have the readers introduced to Pope Leo X, son of Lorenzo The Magnificent, patron of Michelangelo and Rafael – in this book, there is a suggestion that the pope was infatuated, or at least attracted by the artist, and the Gnostic Dwarf is following the painter, sniffing to get information

 

Peppe only comes as high as Rafael’s posterior, and as he follows him in the papal palace, after the latter had been sleeping inside, the dwarf tries to identify the smell of sex, he is rebuked, what are you doing, and he retorts that he likes the style, and tries to replicate it, words to that effect, admiring the handsome guest

To begin with, we read that ‘His Holiness summoned me’ and then we have a physician applying ointment on the arse of the most powerful man in the world – that was then, but even now, Pope Francis has a lot of clout, he just spoke a few days ago, at the G7 summit in Italy – an expensive, bizarre treatment

 

It had to do with virgin piss (albeit I may get mixed up, maybe the piss was applied at a different time) and the joke is ‘where did they find a virgin in Rome?’ The most powerful man was a catamite, waiting to be buggered, the words reflect the attitude of Middle Ages, when they would burn people alive, torture them for much less

‘He has been buggered many times, hence the state of his arse, pustules an all’ this is not a quote, but some of the words are from the text…also, this visiting doctor puts a finger in the rectum of His Holiness, Successor to the Prince of Apostoles and Holder of The Keys of Peter, as the official title was, and maybe still is

 

The Catholic Church did, probably still maintains that the Pope has almost divine status, a special status as a sort of envoy or something, which is anathema, blasphemy for those in the East, with their patriarchs and their own vile behaviors – at the time of the narrative, Martin Luther is rising, protesting the corruption

‘Short of declaring that God is a Mohamedan, the pope can do what he pleases’, and he likes to act, cry like a woman when buggered, he is a man with a sense of humor, and we are told that, in a few occasions, he had been offered the sale of some special icon, so he sends the merchant to jail, and then this cheat disappeared, maybe killed

 

After learning about some of the shenanigans, debauchery (as seen by the standards of that period, maybe with the norms of today as well) of Pope Leo X, who used to be Giovanni de Medici, son of Lorenzo, we find that The Magnificent was the founder of Florence, and although The Medici have become infamous for cruelty, murder, they have some extraordinary achievements to their name, and we have to see things in perspective

Then we move to the childhood of the main character, Giuseppe Amadonelli, who was born in poverty, he had a drunk mother, who was so perverted that she tried to commit incest with him, insisting on masturbating him, having him penetrate her – she was selling some vile wine, as a sort of street vendor, abusing her child

 

One day, he meets this stunning, aristocratic girl, Laura, who encourages the deformed boy, invites him to her lodgings, they form a relationship, she shows him that they share physical challenges, she has a fabulous breast, only the other is the size of plum, and this minimal nudity leads to more intimacy, and coitus

However, this friend is the one who introduces our hero to Gnosticism, she insists that they will have sex, but that is only to rebuke it afterwards, they have to pledge to know the carnal pleasure, but only to forsake it in the future, it will be the first and the last time that they will give in to desire, the call of the flesh will be forever silent

 

Alas, after they have this exquisite, wonderful union, catastrophe strikes, the girl is taken in by the Inquisition, tortured in order to betray the other members of their fraternity, circle, whatever that would be called, and she remains silent, they take Peppe in as well, and then he is sold to sort of travelling show with freaks

He shares the space with a poor fellow who is made to look like an ape, he has some of the elements, but then they put more hair on him, and make him act as an animal, but the Gnostic Dwarf has a proposition for the owner of the ‘menagerie’, and that is a new act, in which the ‘ape will bring the man in a leash’, Peppe will act as submissive, and eventually, when they get the men in the public to pay extra for some more lascivity, unsee before exhibitions, the dwarf will ‘jerk off the ape’, thus he respects the pledge he made to Laura, to bring sex into contempt

 

Now for my standard closing of the note with a question, and invitation – maybe you have a good idea on how we could make more than a million dollars with this http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/02/unique-in-world.html?q=unique+in+the+world – as it is, this is a unique technique, which we could promote, sell, open the Oscars show with or something and then make lots of money together, if you have the how, I have the product, I just do not know how to get the befits from it, other than the exercise per se

 

 There is also the small matter of working for AT&T – this huge company asked me to be its Representative for Romania and Bulgaria, on the Calling Card side, which meant sailing into the Black Sea wo meet the US Navy ships, travelling to Sofia, a lot of activity, using my mother’s two bedrooms flat as office and warehouse, all for the grand total of $250, raised after a lot of persuasion to the staggering $400…with retirement ahead, there are no benefits, nothing…it is a longer story, but if you can help get the mastodont to pay some dues, or have an idea how it can happen, let me know

 

As for my role in the Revolution that killed Ceausescu, a smaller Mao, there it is http://realini.blogspot.com/2022/03/realini-in-newsweek-participant-in.html

 

Some favorite quotes from To The Hermitage and other works

 

‘Fiction is infinitely preferable to real life...As long as you avoid the books of Kafka or Beckett, the everlasting plot of fiction has fewer futile experiences than the careless plot of reality...Fiction's people are fuller, deeper, cleverer, more moving than those in real life…Its actions are more intricate, illuminating, noble, profound…There are many more dramas, climaxes, romantic fulfillment, twists, turns, gratified resolutions…Unlike reality, all of this you can experience without leaving the house or even getting out of bed…What's more, books are a form of intelligent human greatness, as stories are a higher order of sense…As random life is to destiny, so stories are to great authors, who provided us with some of the highest pleasures and the most wonderful mystifications we can find…Few stories are greater than Anna Karenina, that wise epic by an often foolish author…’

 

‚Parturiunt montes, nascetur ridiculus mus’

 

“From Monty Python - The Meaning of Life...Well, it's nothing very special...Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try and live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations.”