The Myths of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky Fabulous!!!

 The Myths of Happiness by Sonja Lyubomirsky

Fabulous!!!

 

The book is extraordinary and it explains in an accessible language the preconceived ideas that we have about happiness.

It is divided into chapters that each start with: I’ll be happy if …I will be rich, for instance –and then the wonderful author patiently demolishes the myths we hold on various sources of happiness, or indeed unhappiness.

I will start with the being rich myth, which has been a little discussed in our group on facebook: - -

-          Happiness is a Choice…make it!

Yes, having money does matter, especially for the people who do not have it and live in poverty in Africa or elsewhere.

Being homeless is not one way to happiness, unless you are a Buddhist or Hindu practitioner, in which case you might connect with higher things and reach Nirvana regardless, or especially in the state of poverty and total absence of desire, which is associated with some beliefs.

Sonja Lyubomirsky is keeping a very good balance and recommends that we do not exaggerate even in the actions recommended for happiness-

-          For instance, forgiveness is a Happiness activity which we also find in her other fabulous book

-          The How of Happiness, where it is listed as Happiness Activity Number 7

But we must be aware and avoid the door mat paradigm, whereby too much forgiveness for any kind of mistake can and will be counterproductive.

Or in the words of Tal Ben- Shahar, professor and acclaimed author at Harvard:

-          Learn to fail, or fail to learn

-          Look for stepping stone instead of stumbling blocks

Because if we forgive without pointing out the mistake and sometimes take necessary measures, we might encourage and even create a habit of wrongdoing in a partner, a child or even a colleague who, used to be forgiven no matter what can become a nuisance, not just for ourselves, but for extended family, other friends or work mates.

Apart from the references to reputed Psychologists like Tal Ben Shahar and Barbara Frederickson, this marvelous book includes quotes from Benjamin Franklin and others.

Even movies find their place in this exceptional work, with a special resume of the famous Wild Strawberries by one of the best directors, Ingmar Bergman.

The reader will be delighted by the depth of the study on which the book is based, but also surprised by some of the findings, like the fact that couples that get along, tend to use similar speech patterns or vice versa.

The Myths of Happiness is a wonderful book from the author of the classic The How of Happiness. It reminds one of Stumbling Upon Happiness by the acclaimed Harvard professor Daniel Gilbert.

There are a number of wrong ideas about happiness that we tend to share regarding money, relationships, jobs and more.

For instance, we tend to believe that a better job or a promotion will make us satisfied and this well being will last, but tests show that it is a myth.

Humans adapt to better and worse circumstances and the promotion or the better job does make them happier, but only for a short period of time.

There are some interesting examples which include the Google employees that are famous for the perks they get with their well paid jobs-

-          They can take their pets to the office, they have exquisite food available for free, massages, games rooms and many more great advantages

But they adapt to all this and start….moaning about the cupcakes that are the same from last week or other such petty stuff.

It is called hedonic adaptation and there are ways around it, explained in this wonderful book